I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
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