Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
