Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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