seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
