You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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