At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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