well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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