I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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