When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
