you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize