would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
