this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
