this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize