I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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