Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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