my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
My feet surprised me
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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