their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
