you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
