he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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