She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
