BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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