so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
