Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
