Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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