Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
