I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
