bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
The adults are the big ones right?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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