I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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