drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
