Christians are straight up FREAKS
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
