Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
