I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
how do flat chested girls get laid?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
