we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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