we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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