I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
