you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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