Who did Billy Mays play for?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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