If that was your dad, he is hot
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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