Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
