Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
this hospital has no fireball
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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