I want to walk on stilts...naked
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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