arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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