But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
