we made out on top of his cat.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
