My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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