no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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