How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
