I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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