I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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