ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
