My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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