just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize