He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
