Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
