I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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