all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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