Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
We have so much sex to catch up on
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
