"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
home. puking in laundry basket.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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