I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
