Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
My penis needs a shock collar
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Randomize
