Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
We just shotgunned beers for America
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize