Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
