how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
