why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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