Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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