Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
