yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
