But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
