I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
