i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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