whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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