ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I intend to get homeless drunk
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
