remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
