I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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