I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
