Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Randomize