is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
